Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

So what about self-forgiveness? When we don’t forgive, the effects can include feelings of depression, low self-acceptance, and a sense that we aren’t worthy. We deprive ourselves of good life opportunities, punishing ourselves through activities or relationships that cause harm, addictions and so forth. Not being able to forgive ourselves or others negatively affects our energy and our lives.

Our negative and critical thoughts about others and ourselves can have a tremendous impact. The word “negative” means to subtract from. When we are negative, we subtract something from ourselves, and from the love and the life force that is potentially here for all of us to share. When we are stuck in a negative place, we delay healing for our body, emotions and relationships. In school, we do not learn how to forgive. We learn reading, writing and mathematics, but we do not learn the process of forgiveness. Yet it is important. To forgive others or ourselves, we have to begin with identifying where to utilize the forgiveness process. We first must become aware that deep down, we value health, love and joy more than any disease, resentment or anger. We then must choose to forgive both ourselves and others from a place of love and compassion.

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse 

Not being able to forgive only keeps us a prisoner. If this is an issue for you, think about freeing yourself!  

Be well,

Bonnie

About 30 million people in the United States alone suffer from migraines. More than 90 percent of them miss work or can’t function normally during a migraine attack. That means missing a lot of your life, like social events and quality time with your kids.

Many of us were brought up to believe that drugs are the only effective tool in the treatment of migraines. Being a former chronic migraine sufferer myself, I have found there is a lot more we can do to reduce the frequency and severity of our migraines. After all, we all have more “drugs” in our brain than any drug company could ever make.

Let me assure you that your belief in medication being the only option is not your fault. Most of us were brought up to believe that medications are the best way to make any kind of pain go away. It’s also natural for your doctor to think that way, because most medical training focuses heavily on prescription treatment solutions. In fact, the World Health Organization says a lack of knowledge among health care providers is the principal barrier to effective migraine treatment.

Medications can play a role in migraine treatment, but non-drug techniques and strategies can be even more effective in helping you regain control of your life. In reality, what it really takes is a holistic approach to overall physical and emotional well-being.

I am offering a free webinar on April 19^th that will address how to take control of your migraines and reclaim your life. Click here for more information.  

Click here if you want to listen to a recent radio interview I did talking about the Migraine Control program I have developed to help chronic migraine sufferers.

Believe that you can have the life you want!

Bonnie

Are you feeling like you don’t have enough time in the day?  Is that a stressor for you?  It is for most people. Almost everyone wishes there were more hours in the day at times. Time management is about staying focused. The Parato Principal, also known as the 80/20 rule, states that 80 percent of the desired outcome or output can be generated by using only 20 percent of the time if it’s managed well. That is like getting extra hours in your day!

A great way of learning time management and improving your emotional life is to review what you do on a regular basis. Track your activities. Journaling them throughout the day will give you insight into how much time you really spend on certain activities. We often wonder where the day went and feel like we didn’t get anything done. Memory is a poor guide when it comes to assessing how you spend your time. It’s similar to keeping a journal when dealing with weight management challenges. If you are trying to lose weight, you might track what, how much and when you eat. If you journal your activities throughout the day, it will give you a much better handle on where you are spending the most time, and then you can assess if it is productive or not. 

As you’re tracking your activities throughout the day, notice how much time you spend on personal time, the time that belongs to you. When you wake up in the morning, you’ve got 24 hours of time. Notice how much time is for you, how much is for other people, and how much is for projects. In looking at a 24 hours day, we should break up into thirds. Spend one third of the time sleeping and one third of the time on work (job, school, projects, etc.) That leaves one third of the time for personal time (fun, relaxing, doing things you enjoy and really want to do for you). Break apart your day, make sure you’re allowing enough for yourself, and be a realistic about that.

Another strategy is to take frequent breaks throughout the day, maybe five minutes every hour or two. Just get away from whatever you’re working on. If you have difficulty stopping because you lose track of time, set a timer to help you limit the amount of time you spend on a project before taking a break. Your breaks might include getting up and going for a walk around the house or outside, getting a drink of water, or just doing nothing for five minutes other than getting away from that project. This short timeout will actually make you more productive when you go back to your project.

Do you ever wonder how to begin having a better, happier life? Do you ever question if this is really how life is supposed to be?

We are so busy just making it through the day, and then we collapse at the end with no energy left for ourselves. We have so many challenges and barriers in our path, and stress is all around us. There never seems to be enough time, and it happens so often that we are never really happy with ourselves.

Most times when we look in the mirror, we are not happy with what we see. We think, “I’m too fat, I’m getting so old, or I don’t have the energy I used to.” We are too busy just getting everything done and not really able to slow down and truly enjoy life.

Stress is everywhere. To experience stress is really to experience life. However, we can learn to handle stress in ways in which we don’t have to suffer from the negative consequences it can cause, like headaches, digestive problems, difficulty sleeping, emotional eating that can lead to unwanted weight gain … and the list goes on. 

I’d like to invite you listen in on a discussion I’ll have with some amazing experts on the topic of how we can have the lives we want. We will share valuable information about how you can begin the journey to the life you deserve! This is our second symposium call, and I know you will get some valuable tips on how you can begin.

The call is on Monday, March 6, at 1:00 pm CST and will be recorded. If you sign up, you will automatically receive the recording, so don’t worry about not being able to listen live. The panel members are also offering a free gift after the live call. You will be on the list to receive that as well.

Click Here for more information on the “Live the Life You Want” symposium

We often can’t control the outside world. Life is what it is, and things happen. Our inside world, however, is made up of our thoughts and feelings, and that is more powerful than any outside force.

We can control our inside world by paying attention to our thoughts and feelings, and choosing to allow good thoughts to govern our lives. We create our reality though our dominant thoughts and feelings.  No one can do that for us; we have the control. In fact, we can’t make choices for anyone else, but the flip side is that no one can make choices for us, either. That’s an empowering concept!

We all have negative thoughts and that’s normal; just don’t let them control your life. Our feelings have even more power. You can have a positive thought but still not feel good, because deep down at a subconscious level, you don’t really believe it. You can always tell if the thought is truly positive or not by how you feel. The better you feel, the more positive your thoughts, the higher your vibration. Then you’re on the right track.

Notice where you are most of the time. Do you have the life you want? Are you joyful? ­­­­We deserve to be happy and live the lives we want. Life is what it is, but suffering is optional. I did a radio show this week where I talk about my new book, “The Choice is Ours – Five Keys to Health, Happiness and Abundance.”  I shared some of my favorite, most effective keys to better health, better relationships, more abundance and more happiness in your life. You can listen to the show here.

We all have the power within us to have the lives we want. For some people, happiness means getting their life back; for others, it’s achieving new things or experiencing more joy in life. Whatever your definition of happiness, you must believe you can have it and deserve it. Belief is the best gift we can give yourselves.

“The Choice is Ours – Five Keys to Health Happiness & Abundance” is available in print and digital formats at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Be Well,

bonnie

This Valentine’s Day, pay attention to how you love yourself and give yourself the gift of unconditional love. When we truly love ourselves, we are able to receive more love from those around us.

Sometimes our biggest challenge is loving ourselves unconditionally. Self-love is the foundation for personal happiness and truly living the life you want. I think it is the biggest thing that holds people back from the lives they deserve. We are really the only ones who can take care of ourselves, and yet, so many of us tend to put everyone else first. Does that sound familiar?

Do you love yourself unconditionally…just the way you are? To love yourself unconditionally doesn’t mean you don’t want to improve or make any changes, it just means you also love yourself just as you are right now.

This week, Weight Release & Body Image Coach Laura Fenamore was on my radio show. It was a great show and we talked about how important it is to love yourself. As my Valentine’s Day gift to you, here is the link to the recording of the show. Just click here to listen. You can also right-click on the link to save it. You may want to listen again.  She begins with a wonderful meditation, so make sure you are in a comfortable place to take it in. It’s awesome. Here is Laura’s website. 

To continue on with the Valentine’s Day theme, my guest next week on The Choice is Ours Radio Show is psychotherapist Ashley Davis Bush, who will talk about healthy relationships. The show airs Monday at 1 pm CST on BlogTalk Radio. Here is the link to The Choice is Ours Radio Show with Ashley.
 

Do you love yourself unconditionally…just the way you are? Many of us love ourselves more when we lose weight, succeed at a goal or accomplish something.

Many people think they love themselves, but usually they base that love on conditions. If you get upset with yourself because you made a mistake or you don’t think you are thin enough, smart enough, good enough, etc., then you probably love yourself conditionally. When you love yourself unconditionally, those things don’t matter. Conditional love disappears when certain conditions are no longer fulfilled.

Sometimes our biggest challenge is loving ourselves unconditionally. This kind of love manifests itself through the experience of having everything we need in our life and being happy. Unconditional love means we recognize the divine within us, as well as within all people. Peace of mind and unconditional love for ourselves are important for living an abundant life.

Having feelings of love toward others and ourselves is critical when we fall asleep each night. Have you ever heard the saying, “Don’t go to bed mad?” That is actually good advice. The conscious mind takes a break as we sleep; our subconscious mind stays very active. Because of this, the thoughts we think about before we drift off to sleep are vitally important. Feeling love and appreciation, and having positive thoughts in those moments just before falling asleep, is healthy for us. Knowing that you are good, loveable and worthy of respect is the key.

The more you love yourself, the easier it becomes for you to spend time with yourself and actually enjoy the silence of your own thoughts, ideas and personality. It also tells the universe that you deserve those things you desire and want in your life, and allows the universe to begin to align itself in ways that will allow you to get what you want. If you love yourself, you know that you are worthy and you don’t need to prove it to anyone. To love unconditionally means it doesn’t matter what is going on in the outside world; it doesn’t matter what the situation is, we just love regardless.

Self-love is a condition of awareness and a way of perceiving. The art of loving yourself begins with self-acceptance. Self-acceptance means loving yourself unconditionally and being happy with who you are now. It’s believing you are perfect just the way you are. This is not to say you don’t want to change or improve, it simply means you love and accept yourself anyway. It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are at this very moment. It is important to accept even those parts you want to change. So notice, how do you love yourself?

In today’s world, it’s hard to believe we can have the life we want. There are so many challenges and barriers in our path, and stress is all around us.

Stress is just a part of life, and we need it to survive. To experience stress is really to experience life. However, we can learn to handle stress in ways in which we don’t have to suffer from the negative consequences it can cause, like headaches, digestive problems, difficulty sleeping, emotional eating that can lead to unwanted weight gain…and the list goes on.

This is not how most of us would define the life we want! Life today can keep us from the health, happiness and abundance we deserve. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The scariest thing about chronic stress is that it can lead to more serious outcomes. Chronic diseases like diabetes, heart disease, autoimmune disease, even cancers can be stress-driven. It is estimated that 90 percent of all medical visits are related to stress.

There are many ways we can deal with life’s situations that don’t lead to these negative consequences. We can reduce, even eliminate the negative impact of stress in our lives and truly enjoy the lives we want – the lives we were meant to have.

You might be wondering, “Where do I start? How do I fit it in? How do I deal with life, when life is so busy and chaotic?” You might be questioning whether a better life is even possible… or is this just the way it is; these are the cards you’ve been dealt? Well, I believe anything is possible and we get what we expect.

I’d like to invite you listen in on a discussion I’ll have with some amazing experts on the topic of how you can have the life you want. We will share valuable information about how you can begin the journey to the life you deserve! There is no cost, you just have to sign up.

Click here for more information on the “Live the Life You Want” symposium